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Divorcing Your Parents



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Nov 03, 2009 11:56 AM

Divorcing Your Parents


You can divorce an abusive spouse. You can call it quits if your lover mistreats you. But what can you do if the source of your misery is your own parent?

Granted, no parent is perfect. And whining about parental failure, real or not, is practically an American pastime that keeps the therapeutic community dutifully employed.

But just as there are ordinary good-enough parents who mysteriously produce a difficult child, there are some decent people who have the misfortune of having a truly toxic parent.

Sometimes, as drastic as it sounds, that means letting go of that toxic parent.


http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/1...-your-parents/

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/10/20/he...tml?ref=health


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from Tweety
Old Nov 03, 2009, 06:12 PM

Default Re: Divorcing Your Parents
Not everyone comes from Ozzie and Harriet. There was a time I had to completely let go of my parents and I moved to Atlanta and didn't contact them. Eventually all wounds were healed. In retrospect I'm amazed that I was able set limits at such a young age (19): it's my life not to be dictated by you, when you're ready to mind your own business and accept me for who and what I am, let me know. In a way, I'm sure it set them free as well.
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Old Nov 03, 2009, 08:41 PM

Default Re: Divorcing Your Parents
Sometimes there are truly toxic parents and they've cut up their parent card and a child should "divorce" them.

I know some people who continue to try to make these toxic (evil) people love them by keeping them in their life and putting up with being treated terribly.

Most of the stuff we grew up with in our imperfect families are things we just need to accept and move on and realize people are not going to change and just enjoy our imperfect families.

But when it comes to "toxic" . . .. let them go.

And don't look back.


steph
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No. 3
from husker_rn
Old Nov 04, 2009, 07:45 AM

Default Re: Divorcing Your Parents
I, too, grew up on Dysfuction Junction and left when I turned 18. Put many miles between me and my parents and ended up losing siblings as well. Am I complaining ? No sir !! The most important lesson I ever learned is that some of my best family members have no blood ties to me. God gave me two lousy parents and then turned around and gave me the best grandparents in the world. All in all I have been blessed.
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