Got a sec?

Tonight I am in need of some of that great allnurse support. My twelve year old is having surgery in the morning to repair an obstructed ureter that's causing his kidney to back-up. At this time- he will keep the kidney, but the function is already decreased. We just found out all of this over the last month- starting the night of Thansgiving and ending in the hospital with what turned out to be pylonephritis. Since than it's been tests, test, and more tests follow-up with multiple trips to the specialists.

I'm having this great internal sturggle between knowing what I know as a nurse- and feeling scared to death as a mom. For the past week, I've been having the most disturbing reoccuring dream of actually observing the surgery. It starts with that wonderful excitment and facination of seeing a surgery- and ends in sheer terror when I realize it's my son their opening up. Not the image any mother wants to see happen to her baby.

I'm having a he** of a time seperating myself clinically. I have great faith in his Dr., somewhat trust the hospital itself- but nonetheless know that it will be a long weekend. I'll definately be camped out in one of those recliners for the next three days.

Anyway- if anyone can spare a sec for some encouraging words or a little prayer- I'd really appreciate it right now. My stomache is just in knots.....