Got my ass handed to me yesterday.

"I always heard the guilty dog barks the loudest"

Not always true. Two people enter a Jail being booked on charges of Murder. They both are booked and are assigned to their home away from home (cells). An hour or two goes by and the Detention Officer walks by to make rounds. 1st murder suspect is pacing back and forth in his cell and tells the guard he is innocent, the 2nd suspect is sound alseep in his cell. Who is Guilty of Murder?


The suspect who is sound alseep ! Why? Because he knows he's been caught.

I'm sorry about this Erik. As far as being 'divorce material', it can happen to anyone, especially in this day and age.

I am sorry to hear this Erik, Hopefully you can get things sorted without too much trouble

I have been down this road myself and more than once. It really doesn't matter what your spouse did or didn't do. I believe the longer we try to understand or blame, the uglier life gets. In the past I have tried to figure these things out and I get all up in my head and thats like being in a bad neighborhood without a gun! As my current (& last) wife says "Would you rather be happy or would you rather be right?" Figuring it out and being right, isn't all its cracked up to be. Gaining acceptance leads to healing and eventually, happiness.

The thing that is most important is all the big feelings you go through. For me, the hardest stuff was feeling like a failure and the loss of my hopes and dreams. Hang in there man, it will get better.

This probably isn't the time to say it, however it might not get said otherwise. Don't make any major decisions for a year (outside of the divorce stuff). I got married on the rebound the 2nd time and it was truly the worst 5 years of my life. After that ended, a mentor gave me some timeless advice. He told me to stay out of relationships for a year or two. He said I could have all the sex I wanted during that time and after that I could have sex with another person! Perhaps not the time for humor but I hope it made chuckle.

Hang in there Eric; all of the cliche's you will hear over the next few months are pretty much true.

Strong words of wisdom here.

Totally agree.

And I also agree...a rebound relationship will often only have you leaping out of one bad situation and into something much much worse.

My best to you.

Erik, I got your PM and then saw this thread, so I'll respond here.

I'm sorry you are going through this. I truly do not know what to say. BTDT with friends who have separated and then reconciled with their spouses and wished I could have retracted my words.

Only you know the situation and what is best. One thing I do know - you will make your way just fine. Hang in there.

I am truly sorry, Erik. Seeing Donster's avatar reminded me of Ferguson and how we bantered back and forth about him in your "On the Lighter Side" thread as you traveled across the U.S. I hope the both of you weather this storm. Good luck.