New Preamble to the Constitution

NEW PREAMBLE TO THE CONSTITUTION

The following has been attributed
to State Representative Mitchell Kaye from GA. This guy
should run for President one
day...

'We the sensible people of the United States, in an
attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance
of justice, avoid more riots, keep our nation safe, promote
positive behavior, and secure the blessings of debt-free
liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great-grandchildren, hereby try
one more time to ordain and establish some common sense
guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt ridden, and delusional. We hold
these truths to be self evident: that a whole
lot of people are confused by the Bill of
Rights and are so dim they require a Bill of
NON-Rights.'

ARTICLE I:
You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV,
or any other form of wealth.
More power to you if you can legally
acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything.

ARTICLE II:
You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is
based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone --not
just you!
You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different
opinion, etc.; but the world is full of
idiots, and probably always will be.

ARTICLE III:
You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a
screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful; do not
expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your
relatives independently wealthy.

ARTICLE IV:
You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the most
charitable people to be found, and will gladly
help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of
subsidizing generation after generation of professional
couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of
another generation of professional couch potatoes. This one
is my pet peeve...get an education and go to work..don't
expect everyone else to take care of you!

ARTICLE V:
You do not have the right to free health care. That would be
nice, but if it would turn out the same way as current
public housing, we're not interested in public health
care.

ARTICLE VI:
You do not have the right to physically harm other people..If
you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone,
don't be surprised if the rest of us want to see
you put away for the rest of your sorry life.

ARTICLE VII:
You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you
rob, cheat, or coerce away the goods or services of other
citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you
away in a place where you still won't have the right to a big
screen color TV or a life of leisure.

ARTICLE VIII:
You do not have the right to
a job. All of us sure want you to have a job, and will
gladly help you along in hard times,but we expect
you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational
training laid before you to make yourself useful. (AMEN!)

ARTICLE IX: You
do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means
that you have the right to PURSUE happiness, which by the
way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an over
abundance of idiotic laws created by those of you who
were confused by the Bill of
Rights.

ARTICLE X:
This is an English speaking country. We don't care where you are from, English is our
language. Learn it or go back to wherever you came from!

(and last but not least....)

ARTICLE XI: You
do not have the right to change our country's history or heritage. This country
was founded on the belief in one God You are given the
freedom to believe in any religion, any faith, or no faith
at all, with no fear of persecution. The phrase IN GOD WE
TRUST is part of our heritage and history, and if you are
uncomfortable with it, TOUGH!