My two sons take advantage of me

carlasbizz · Jan 16, 2010 03:50 AM

Hello Nursing Community,

I just don't know what to do with my situation!!! I just got in to Nursing School this January. I am a single mom of eight kids. I have four daughters and four sons. My two sons, 14 and 12 just don't want to behave. I am writing this post @ 2:30 in the morning and they have not come home again. I have called the police on them many times for not coming home. My daughters never created any problems like this and my 17 and 11 year old son. I just don't know what to do. I can't afford Military school or even school for kids who are heading down the wrong road. I just don't know what to do!! My boys behave this way when they know I am working a long shift. I have never remarried and I decided long ago that I would never bring any man into their lives until they were all grown. My household lacks supervision, but even if I stayed home they would still behave this way!! I don't want to give up Nursing School! I was thinking maybe I should just finish Nursing School and let my job go. I do registry work as a CNA. I like registry work, because i can schedule myself through the week. I was thinking maybe looking into working from home. I don't know does anyone have any advise for me. I have worked so hard to get this far with my schooling. I am just trying to make a better life for me and my family. Help!! I do work this morning!! I don't know if I should go in or what I should do!! My job is also on the line. I have called off so many times regarding my situation. I don't know what to do. Help!!!

lesrn2005 · Jan 16, 2010, 04:43 AM

Go to work ASAP and finish nursing school. Your kids do know right from wrong, hey, you raised them right! Kids are growing up faster today and not always in the right way. It is all about choices and you need to be able to support yourself.

**traumaRUs** · Jan 16, 2010, 04:44 AM

Let me move this to the parenting forum where you will get more answers.

dannyc12 · Jan 16, 2010, 09:16 AM

Originally Posted by carlasbizz

I just don't know what to do with my situation!!! I just got in to Nursing School this January. I am a single mom of eight kids.

I can't imagine what that is like.

It appears you desperately need help from your local Social/Human Services. Have you tried calling them? It sounds like you want to do the right thing and they may be able to help you.

PolandM · Jan 16, 2010, 11:36 PM

Originally Posted by carlasbizz

Hello Nursing Community,
I have never remarried and I decided long ago that I would never bring any man into their lives until they were all grown.

That could be part of the problem. Maybe they need some positive male influence.

CMille14 · Jan 17, 2010, 11:23 AM

You said you have called the police several times...what were the consequences of those calls? Did the police file charges? Did the courts put them under the supervision of juvenile probation? Sometimes kids have to see there are real consequences to open their eyes. Another thing to consider is a behavioural health assessment. Some kids need to learn skills to deal with what they encounter at school and in society. Most areas of the country have services available on a sliding fee scale. Good luck with your boys.

Chapis · Jan 18, 2010, 06:40 PM

sorry they're acting like that towards you, hope you finish NS, but maybe a good 'ole spankin' will serve them right. I'm old school, at 14 if I acted disrespectful, I knew what was coming. I do not know how you are with them, strict wise, firm, a no is a NO, etc. . . Contact your local police/juvenile office and see what they can offer you. Good luck, sorry they can't see how hard you look out for them and LOVE them. (((hugs)))

Chapis · Jan 19, 2010, 08:07 AM

Can the father of the kids help you? Take them while you are in school?

Keep us posted, I wish you the best!

itsmejuli · Jan 30, 2010, 09:51 AM

Give those boys direct consequences for their behavior.

Take away the Xbox, the Wii or whatever else it is that they enjoy.

Take the door off the bedroom, take away the stereo and tv.

Be firm and stick to your rules and consequences. Enlist the help of the older siblings in keeping the young boys in line.

Yeah, I raised boys too, they can be very trying. But its a matter of your will vs theirs.

bajamedic · Feb 01, 2010, 10:10 PM

Boys/Guys at that age are always hard on mom. I know I put my mom thru allot. I am now sorry I did that. They do need to be reeled in and their but kicked. But..................may I suggest getting them involved in something that stokes them out. Serious surfing, or Skateboarding (I don't me looking like a Skate Punk I mean being an athelete like Tony Hawk), Scuba Diving, SOMETHING.
You might have to get them a BIG BROTHER figure, guys that age need someone to follow that they respect in their own ways. I would not recomend CPS or Social Services it could go against you and could make getting you license an issue.
I am sensing they really need a male figure to give them some guidence. Remind them of how good it will be when you are making that RN money, maybee make a deal (CONTRACT) with them that if they support you and do what is right, when you get hired as an RN you will buy them an island in the Caribbean with lots of pretty girls on it. Then they can party all they want.

My two sons take advantage of me

My two sons take advantage of me

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