A whole new world for my son...ideas to make it easier?

*LaughingStudent* · Dec 27, 2009 11:25 AM

I have been coming to this site for a long time now, but have never started a thread. I have seen great advice and idea sharing from many people on this site, so I figured I would give it a try.

I just recently graduated from a BSN program in Canada, and got married to my best friend of 6 years...an American.
So after months of immigration fun, me and my son have finally moved to Michigan and we are a family!

My problem is that my son has had a bit of a rough time moving around while I got my degree. He is very excited to be here, but I feel so sick to my stomach for him. He starts school in Michigan after the Christmas break.

I am nervous because even though we lived, literally right next door in Canada...it's so different here (I don't even want to start on our accents). My son is in grade 3 (in US speak: the 3rd grade). He was struggling a lot in Canada, especially with math, although he is an excellent reader. When I say struggling...I mean, he was close to failing. He couldn't complete any assignments, failed every test...he has been tested for every learning disability, hearing, vision etc...numerous times and he is fine.

I'm scared, because whatever he has learned in school, is close to useless. Canadian history, Social studies, Geography...I mean, he even can't grasp the state vs province concept despite numerous talks. We use the metric system, so all his unit math classes are probably meaningless....Standing for the Canadian national anthem...

Ughh, I just don't know what to expect from the school, especially mid-year in terms of support.

Anybody have suggestions or ideas on things we could go over next week to help him before he starts?

*herring_RN* · Dec 27, 2009, 01:08 PM

If you can try to volunteer at the school.
Or join the Parent Teacher Student Association.
Maybe have a private conversation with the teacher.

When he makes a friend meet the parents and invite the other kid over to play.

*Spidey's mom* · Dec 27, 2009, 02:09 PM

I'm a big fan of letting a child learn at his or her own particular pace. Boys especially because they develop a bit slower when it comes to all the excess energy and wanting to bounce around and play instead of sit at a desk and do worksheets.

I waited until my kids were closer to 6 before putting them in Kindergarten.

My oldest was homeschooled through 1st grade but I actually taught all my kids to read and write at home simply by reading to them from an early age. My husband is the math whiz and he played simple counting games when they were toddlers . . .like he would start at 1 and they would say 2 and he would say 3 and they would say 4 . . etc. They soon could count to 100 or more.

I'm a big fan of private schools - small private schools - so that your child will receive individual attention and not have to either keep up with everyone else or stay behind with everyone else.

It is harder to do that in public school just because of the logistics - so many kids in a classroom.

He is young - I'd try to take some pressure off now before he ends up simply hating school. And this is a huge change as you said "A whole new world" -moving and getting a new Dad.

Is there a way you could homeschool him for just this next year?

Or look into a small private school?

Congratulations on your marriage and finishing the BSN program and Welcome to the USA!

steph

JB2007 · Dec 27, 2009, 07:54 PM

To begin with try not to stress too much. Your son will pick up on this and that will increase his stress level. I know easier said than done. Your son is young and I think that will make the move a lot easier for him. I am sure that he will be fine.

I would see how he does in the first few weeks, but if you see him to continue to struggle with his studies I would check with his teacher. She/he should have some suggestions that could help your son. The teacher may even have a list of tutors that you could take your son to help him with his math.

As far as his grades go, that may come with time. Like the OP stated boys develop slower and each child learns at their own pace. I have two boys, one had straight A's and B's so far and the other was lucky to get anything higher than a D on his report card. He hated school from day one. His Freshman year he made all A's and B's. He just made up his mind he wanted to go to college and he knows he has to make the grades.

Just take it one day at a time. Keep a good line of communication open at the school and with you child.

damrcngrl95 · Dec 28, 2009, 09:26 AM

I am a former teacher. I know that it is tough to watch your child struggle with his studies. There are many programs to help him. The previous posters have made some good suggestions. Private schools, charter schools, and home schooling can help catch your son up to grade level. Your new school district should have some kind of tutoring program to help. When he enrolls after the holidays they will probably test him to see if he meets the standards for that state at his grade level. If there is a problem they will outline an individual learning plan to help him get to his grade level.
I do know of some good online tutoring sites that can give your child some one on one help. They do cost, but are cheaper than Sylvan Center.
Just stay proactive as a parent. Just like with nursing your child will need an advocate. Public school class sizes seem to be growing so it is easier to over look a child. The squeeky wheel will get the grease so to speak.
Talk to the school counselor about your concerns when you go and register your child. This will help them with coming up with a plan.
If you have anymore questions or would like some online resources just let me know and I will email you the information.

deAnna

*LaughingStudent* · Dec 28, 2009, 02:35 PM

Thanks guys! I think I may be panicking for no reason.

I have had a lot of family add their two cents in on the whole issue, and I think they got me worked up.

My main concern was I suppose the little things, like he only knows 1 state (and we have showed him more on maps, but he can only remember the one we live in), or that he has no idea what an inch is, who past presidents were....etc.

I am feeling from everyone's reaction here that it isn't such a big deal and that he will catch up and I feel relieved already. I do not care if he is not an A student, he doesn't need to be in grade 3, just happy! I just don't want him to feel like he can't do it because he feels so overwhelmed...

Home schooling really isn't an option since I hope to be working as soon as possible (knock on wood!) He also needs to make some friends in the neighborhood since he is a lonely only child.

For what its worth, my son is not concerned about going to his new school, so this is strictly a mother induced guilt-sympathy trip that I'm on..

Thanks again for the replies, much appreciated

ETA: Thank you so much Spidey's mom!

*herring_RN* · Dec 28, 2009, 04:10 PM

You are a loving concerned Mother. We Moms worry.

damrcngrl95 · Dec 28, 2009, 04:11 PM

I can understand what you are saying about your son not knowing some the information that our U.S. children seem to know at that age. My oldest son started school in Germany. (We are military.) He did go to an American school, but somethings that are just known here in the states he missed. I remember his 3rd grade teacher telling me that she had to explain what a peach was to my son. I realized he had never seen a peach and told her that. The wonderful thing was that he had a larger view of the world because of his experiences in another country. He could tell the other children about things he was able to do and see. Your son has this wonderful opportunity to educate his classmates about things like Boxing Day and other customs we don't get to experience in the states. He will also be a subject matter expert about the metric system. Our students are required to know the metric system starting as early as the second grade here. Many of my students struggled with the metric concept and the conversions that they had to learn. My two oldest children had plenty of practice with converting the two systems because we were used to customary and needed to convert to metric or vis-a-versa. We had a U.S. car and had to think about speed limit conversions to kilometers per hour. We talked about these conversions as a family almost daily for the 3 years we were there. By the time we moved back to the states my children were very comfortable with the metric and customary systems.

deAnna

Ruthiegal · Dec 31, 2009, 05:04 PM

you may consider holding him back a grade to allow catch up time, or maybe a tutor on the geography and math changes. There are many ways you can help him. It will take time but he will adjust and learn, kids are resilient like that!

**NRSKarenRN** · Jan 23, 2010, 09:29 PM

Just came across this thread... Kudos to you for being a carring parent...may some of these ideas help.

Concept of US states

Puzzle Of United States -- several hands on puzzles from floor to wood

USA Geography - Map Game - Geography Online Games

United States Map Puzzle Website has drop n drag puzzle shapes.

Math:
Join son in playing with everyday objects that can be used in made up math games like Lego's --counting different color blocks: add 6 red blocks + 5 white blocks = ? how many total
Sequencing: Build house with 2 red then 1 white then 3 blue blocks on each side.

Cars when shopping: how many white cars in parking lot row ---how many black, how many blue ... add together White + black + blue = total number in row. (Can be done with matchbox cars too)

How many wheels does a car have? What would happen if a car had 5 wheels?? Truck had 3 wheels?

Play with measuring cups and spoons --- bake a cake using them to measure ingredients.
Fill up measuring 1/4 or 1/3 cup with jelly beans, gummy bears or dried beans --- how many times to fill up one cup measure (might use clear glass or pyrex measuring cup).

Math Flash Cards

Play math computer games

Funschool - Arcade - Math Games - Fun, Educational Math Games for Kids

Math Playground

If child still struggling after building in math to everyday play, ask for diagnostic testing-- really helped my 2nd son.

Build in relaxing time so that kids can just PLAY, run around and jump.

Wishing you both the best with this move and WELCOME to US!

A whole new world for my son...ideas to make it easier?

A whole new world for my son...ideas to make it easier?

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